PJ Recovery-Current Product List
Currently in PJ Rehab my regimen stays the same but my products rotate due to using them up. Check out product reviews section for more info. I do pj inventories, as well feel free to ask questions.
Prepoo/Cowash- Rusk Sensories Kukui & Macadamia Nut Self-Heating Treatment/ Matrix Luminating Conditioner
Shampoo- CHI Infra Shampoo and/or ORS Creamy Aloe, as needed
DC- Alter Ego Garlic Treatment Conditioner
Protein- PAUL MITCHELL Super Strong Treatment
LeaveIns- Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Finishing Lotion, Wave Nouveau Finishing Mist
Serum- Hask Pure Shine
Heat Protectants- FX Flat Iron Spray
Moisturizer- Wave Nouveau Moisturizing Finishing Lotion
Sealing Oil- Carrot & Aloe Vera Oil and/or Castor Oil
Extras-....
I multitask with products just to see the range of abilities a product has-Someday this will make my pj-ism easier and save money with all-n-one products
My hubby is 360+ lbs and not even sure if that is his real wait b/c the scale stopped at 350. I try to get him to work out but he is always defensive. I don't make "fat" jokes and I am very careful to stroke his ego, I don't want him feeling insecure on account of me(If only men thought this way). He was 220 when we met but he's 6' so it was okay, but now he is like a big ball on legs and I don't know how to get him to exercise. He told me to get Tae Bo, he did less than 5 mins and never touched it again. He said let's do Biggest Loser Cardio Max together, did less than a minute and never did it again. He says he needs a weight bench. He says he wants to do stretching only. And now he says lets look into purchasing a treadmill. For what? So we can hang the clothes on it to dry? We got into a big argument about me not supporting him, I finally just told him to prove me wrong. My husband has and always will be attractive to me, but it's hard for me to hear him complain about his weight, his back, his knees, his eyeballs,etc and watch him stuff his face. He tells me to fix his plate and gets mad b/c there isn't enough food on his plate. I feel like I am always biting my tongue. I don't let him fix my plate or my daughter's b/c he always fixes too much? He doesn't mind pointing out my trouble areas in ways that are humorous, but also a bit embarrassing after the laugh wears off. I try not to exercise when he's around or I go upstairs, his version of motivating me is like a back-seat driver- wanna tell me I doing it wrong and then shuts up when I tell him to show me. Please ladies I need ideas. How is your spouse with your new healthy lifestyle?
Pertinent Info About My Hair
4A/4B
Fine Hair
Prefers lye relaxers
Prefers spray leave-ins
Cream leave-ins are normally moisturizers
10/25-Hair snipped from APL to SL after a sew in setback
?-APL
Goal length: MBL-WL
6 comments:
Sorry to hear this. I can't speak as a spouse because I'm not married but I think communication and patience go a long way. Your hubby is probably defensive because he is not comfortable with his own body and that's his way of not dealing with it. I encourage you to talk to him....let him know how you feel, let him know in a nice way that it hurts when he makes jokes at your body. Have you tried explaining your concerns to him? Ask him if he doesn't want to see his child(ren) graduate and see and play with his grandbabies. Approach it from the angle of health not looks. Explain that if he continues along the current route his health is not going to facilitate him seeing or playing with his grandbabies. He doesn't have to eat less necessarily (like you mentioned he's a big guy), just maybe cut out some of the unhealthy foods.
If you stick to your routine and you see results, maybe he'll be more motivated to join in.
Taebo is a difficult workout to begin with....I remember back in the day when I tried it, you literally feel like you're going to pass out and the workout isn't even half-way. How about starting with some less strenuous activity that will get him up and about and eventually work up to the taebo routine? He might be quitting the taebo and cardio max because they're difficult for him to keep up with, and that damages his ego. You know your husband better than any of us, try to think of something that he would enjoy and keep encouraging him. It might not work right away but hopefully one day he'll agree to do it.
I sincerely hope that you can get through to your hubby.
My hubby is literally a dead ringer when it comes to size and height for your hubby, he's 6' and 388! The diff is he's never been 220. We've been 2gether for 13 years, married 10 less than a month ago, and believe me we have had some knock down drag outs regarding his weight. He's felt I've been critical b/c I've always been naturally skinny and although I've gained weight the last couple of years I am still not big/fat!(In my eyes I am but that's a whole other story...lol) His argument used to be it was so easy for me to get up and work out and how 10 lbs would make a huge diff for me but do nothing for him. Now I've tried the subtle approach, the straight forward approach, the mean comment approach (trust me not the way to go), the playful approach, the health approach,my point is I've tried it all. I know how you feel b/c it's not that he's not attractive to me but as I get older I feel health is so important. Let me let you in on a secret though, everything you think you're telling him, he ALREADY knows! His defense comes from the insecurity that he's not motivated to fight a battle, and your pointing out that he's losing. Now of course that's not what you're doing but in his eyes you are, as explained by my hubby, and of course they never want you to see them as a failure in anything. I say all this to say, it is a situation that is very discouraging for them and unlike us women, they are not open to complaining about weight, they view it as being a wus in a sense, like it's just a women thing even though it affects them as much. On a positive note, I am proud to say this past year, esp the last 6 months my hubby has stepped his game up tremendously. Hs's getting weight loss compliments from everyone and that in itself is motivating him to go further. It took him doing it when HE got ready to. In his own time. I stopped trying approaches and just started focusing on my exercise regime w/o knowing he was watching me and gearing himself up the whole time. We started by going to the track to walk the dogs instead of just outside of the house. Once he saw he wasn't getting winded anymore he started applying some exercises a trainer told him and now he lightly does cardio on our elliptical. Funny thing is he woke up this morning and said "I've got to get my big a$$ on the elliptical today, I fell off 4 the holidays." Needless to say I was so proud. I read him your post and we laughed, don't take it the wrong way but we had no choice, you 2 sound like us in so many different ways it was scary! I think he realized how he's sounded over the years by listening to your hubby's comments...lol. Just continue to lead by example...I have faith he'll pull thru. If my hubby did, yours def can too. Good luck, hun!
Hello, I love, love, love the advice ladies.Turns out you ladies have helped me exponentially.I will discontinue the negative talk and just be there for him whenever he is ready.
@Diary of a Hair Obsession- I love the way you put things. I was able to analyze this matter from different angles. I've told my hubby that I would never forgive him, if I have to take care of him before he becomes a senior citizens, due to things that could've been prevented. I probably shouldn't have said it but I was frustrated.
Tee- Wow! You sound just like us. Before I got to the bottom I said, that is my hubby all the way. I will continue to do my thing and hope that he follows suit. I won't pester him and will let him do it on his own time.
Spouses are a tricky thing. You kinda have to keep softly encouraging, praying that one day he'll see the light. Does he watch Biggest Loser? I watch it, and that alone could probably help start a conversation. He should be willing to hear your fears about his health and his future because you love him and want him around for as long as humanly possible. But I feel after you say it once, you should refrain from repeating too many times.
Unfortunately, I'm the 'lazy' one in my marriage. I was a reg size 8/10 when I got married and ballooned to a size 12 and was gonna be in a size 14 when I saw the light, signed up at the gym. It took me a lot of failed diets, quitting a lot of different exercise plans. I even got a treadmill then sold it the month after because it was just holding space. I finally stuck with the gym because I was feeling unattractive and thought I was looking old. Now I am 20 lbs lighter, fitting (snugly) in a size 10 again with 8-10 lbs to go. My husband plays sports and is very athletic. He used to get overbearing when he was trying to motivate me (maybe how ur husband is feeling about your motivation) and I really never paid him much mind until I really saw I needed to make a change for myself. So, if your hussy doesn't have self-motivation, he probably won't stick to exercising or health eating.
So I say do the best you can for yourself and your daughter, teaching her the importance of being fit and eating healthy and hopefully he will join you so it can become a family affair. Good luck hon.
Thanks S-hair, I got with my hubby and got comfortable to, but I'm not happy so I figured I would do something about it. Thanks for your advice, it's good hearing it from your point of view being that you were the"lazy" one lol!!!So I guess I know how hubby feels, I will lay of of him and lead by example.
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